Life's Never Been Gentle, But God's Always Been Good

2 Corinthians 12:9

If I had to describe my journey through life so far, I’d sum it up to this: “Life’s never been gentle, but God’s always been good.” I heard someone refer to life treating them gentle a while back and it really caught me off guard. I hadn’t ever heard anyone refer to life that way before but at that moment, I had the realization that life has never treated me gently. In my story, life on this sin-filled planet has been loaded down with pain, heartache and suffering. Gentleness doesn’t fit alongside those narratives very well. But with God, it can. He’s the only one that can bring healing to the pain, joy to the heartache, and comfort to the suffering. Life hasn’t been gentle, but God sure has been good.

When you think of the word “gentle” what are some synonyms that first comes to mind? Here’s a few that I found: forgiveness, merciful, tender, humane, and light. Just sitting here looking back at my life, those words don’t necessarily fit the circumstances life has thrown my way. But at the same time, it’s incredible how in those same exact circumstances that were some of the hardest and most painful things I could ever imagine, God shone through the enemy’s lies to reveal those very things. He revealed forgiveness for my sins and the ability to forgive the ones who did me wrong, mercy for my soul and for so many of my loved ones, tenderness from nurses and doctors, humanity in the form of reminders that everyone is going through something, and light when it felt like the darkness wanted to swallow me whole. I have told people again and again, if it wasn’t for my faith and the fact that I serve the living God, I have no clue where I would be right now. I can’t thank God enough for allowing me to go through the struggles that I did. I know that probably sounds crazy, but bear with me.

“You’re just an accident waiting to happen.” “We can treat it, but there’s no cure.” “Why should she be allowed to go? She can’t even take care of herself.” “Get over it, it’s all in your head.” “The test results weren’t what we hoped for.”

This is just a short list of things that have been spoken to me or about me over the last 11 years. I was 15 years old when I got sick and those memories are still living rent free in my head now at 26 years old. Sometimes, all it takes is one word, one song, one reminder for all of those “valley times” to come rushing back. All it took for me was sitting in a doctor’s office. And with those memories come the lies that the enemy continuously whispered in your ear over and over again. All of the words that anyone ever spoke to you. What you went through when your circumstances were so far beyond your control. The times when you felt like hurt and suffering was all you knew how to feel anymore.

But I’m so thankful that “the God on the mountain is still God in the valley.” If it wasn’t for me not being able to get out of bed, would I have reached for my Bible sitting on my nightstand the way I did every time I needed comfort? If it wasn’t for the times I was leaning against the bedroom door in tears, would I have cried out to God as often as I did? If I was always able to get out of the house every time I wanted to, would I have always looked so forward to those church doors opening? I want to open up the opportunity for God to get credit for where He’s brought me from and what He’s sustained me through because I know there are people out there reading this and life is not treating you gently right now. Bad memories don’t just disappear over time. Test results aren’t always what we hope for. Doctors have to deliver the tough news sometimes. But God is always still good. Even in the deepest part of the valley and in the midst of the darkest night, God still shows up.

Just this week, I’ve watched people I love going through the unimaginable. I’ve gotten texts about unwanted test results. I’ve been on the receiving end of phone calls with family members who are struggling. I’ve gotten messages from church members who are hurting. I’ve had friends who’ve lost ones they love. Guys, life is not going to always be gentle with us. As much as I wish we could change that, we can’t. But I’m SO thankful that we serve a God whose strength is made perfect in our weakness. I’m glad I have the ability to boast in my struggles and trials simply because that is where the power of Christ shines through. Where we can have joy in the midst of chaos. A peace that passes understanding. A hope when all the world seems to give is struggle. Life has never been gentle, but God has ALWAYS been good.